“Nurturing families doesn’t require elaborate plans or perfect conditions,” says Jacqueline Cheng, a family law lawyer and certified parenting coach who grew up in Trinidad and Tobago. “It happens in small intentional choices we make day after day.”
Cheng, mother of three boys, says an example of someone who exemplifies nurturing family values and practices is everyone’s favorite action-movie star, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson! Born in 1972, Johnson is a former University of Miami football player and WWE professional wrestling great. He is now a motion picture actor, and his films—such as The Scorpion King, Fast Five, and Moana—have grossed more than $15 billion. He is also a nurturing and involved dad to Simone, 24, Jasmine, 9, and Tiana, 6. Johnson says, “Every man wants a son, but needs a daughter.”
Cheng says one of the three parental practices she believes is most important is: creating simple rituals of connection. Rather than asking our kids, “how was your day?” We can ask more open-ended questions such as, “What made you laugh today?” Similarly, Johnson is known for asking his daughters, “What’s the thing you love most about our relationship?”
A second practice Cheng encourages is: modeling calm in the storm. She tries to stay grounded even when her boys are testing her limits or quarreling. For his part, Johnson has said his childhood was marked by “tough love” from his father. This has caused him to embrace his role as a father with lightheartedness and joy—even when his daughters tell him to close his eyes and then smear his face with peanut butter!
But perhaps the nurturing parental practice Cheng champions the most emphatically is: build a culture of “team.” A favorite strategy of hers is to have her boys work together to compete in board games or backyard basketball against her and her husband—leading to laughter, teamwork and belonging. Johnson builds teamwork with his daughters through father-daughter fishing trips, quoting them as saying, “Can I touch his eye? Can I put my hand in his mouth? Let’s catch MORE!” As Cheng says, this is the heart of legacy: the quiet daily moments that build a lifetime of love.
